This is a poem that was posted in a recent issue of the "Stepping Stones" newsletter from Bethany. This poem beautifully captures how I feel everyday so I thought I would post it here. I imagine it is how many of you feel as well.
Hope on the Rocks
by Kim Caloca
Today someone's hopes lay dying against the rocks
Today the waves come crashing down
Reminding her of what is not to be
Reminding her that in nine months there will be no tiny feet
Her husband's eyes won't be staring back
Her nose won't be crinkled on another little face
She beats the ground with her balled up fist
She wipes the tears and puts on a calm face
Wondering if this dream will ever come to pass
Wondering if this nightmare will ever fade at last
Advice is offered once again, it's not the right time
Advice is offered once again, relax and it will happen
But the pain still feels the same, gut-wrenching
But the pain still feels the same, heart-breaking
And no amount of comfort can be offered
And no consoling words can bring relief
She watches other ships in the distance
She watches other families grow and evolve
In the flotsam and jetsam she waits, struggling to stay afloat
In the cold harsh water she clings to the cross she bears
Hello, I saw this site through a friend's page. I have been there and can truly say hang in there- your baby is out there. The poem is true, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Our tunnel was very dark and long but through first adoption and then in-vitro we have two beautiful daughters. (and no adopting did not "just make it happen for me to get pregnant- it was our fifth invitro attempt". The pain has lessened although I am still jealous when I hear of someone who is pregnant. Adoption is wonderful and if you are going through Bethany you are in good hands- we went through them to get our daughter and we are so blessed. So please hang in there and know you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteI would love to hear about the support group in Iowa City. Is it still active? I tried going last month to a session at WRAC but almost no one showed up. It is still hard to meet people who understand what this is like.
ReplyDeleteI actually started that support group at WRAC. There was a core group of us that attended but most of of the attendees have moved onto other stages in their lives and no longer need the group. I know that a couple more people have signed up so I would suggest trying it out again. If the group isn't going to work for you, some of still get together for dinners every month or so to chat about our journeys and we would love to have you come. Feel free to send me an email @ megs12780@yahoo.com if you are interested!
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